You have got to be kidding me with this shit.

Last night, or early this morning, or when I was still in bed hoping for several hours more sleep, I was awakened by the very annoying car alarm of one of my neighbours.  I have no idea what is up with this person, and why it takes them so long to turn off their car alarm every time it goes off, but last night, or early this morning, or when I was still in bed hoping for several hours more sleep, it went off for more than 20 minutes.

And then it happened again.  For more than 20 minutes.

And this is not the first night, or early morning, or when I was still in bed hoping for several hours more sleep.  This has been an ongoing problem now for weeks.  These instances were actually shorter than when it happened the first time, and continued for over an hour.

I lie there, trying to tune it out, but I could not.  All I could do was fume and judge this person.  And it always seems to happen when I'm really in a good, deep sleep.  It's like the alarm KNOWS.

But as I lie there fuming and judging, I started to wish I had the kinetic powers of Stephen King's "Carrie". 

Or maybe Carrie, driving Christine,

with Cujo in the back. 

Although, really, what I was after was property damage, not personal injury.  I'm not really into hurting people, but I would have loved to have either taken my dirty pillows down to where that damn car was, and set it on fire with my eyes, or driven into it.  Or both.  Cujo would just be there, cheering me on with evil, disgusting mouth foam, because why not?

Seriously though.  I do not understand this.  Does the person have to park a mile away from where they sleep?  I don't know anyone else in the neighbourhood who has to do that, but... well?  Are they so disorganized that it really does take them that long each time this happens to find their alarm remote?  

I am very ready to write a note to the person:

"Dear Assclown:

God damn it.  Why????

Please figure out how to deal with your ridiculous fucking alarm, so that the rest of the goddamned neighbourhood can sleep!   Contrary to what you may think, your precious car is not a fucking goddamned magical unicorn.

There have been nights I lie awake fuming, and judging you, because this shit is completely, and utterly ridiculous.  I have never, in the history of my entire, complete life; experienced what I have experienced since you moved here.  And I am two years younger than someone who considers themselves to be VERY, VERY OLD.  

Even when I lived near a fucking TRAIN YARD, I got better sleep than I do now.

You can help with this situation, though, and really, since you created the problem, YOU SHOULD.

Might I suggest leaving the remote close to your head, so you have immediate access to it?

Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, figure your shit out!

-- The really exhausted lady who is THISCLOSE to becoming Pennywise.  And trust me.  You don't want to see that shit."